New Music Review: CHRIS HOLMES “CHP”

REVIEW – What did we do to deserve this? I’m at a loss.  How can this be?  Brilliantly innovative and refined musicians are crossing over to the afterlife by the fistful, and Chris Holmes is still around to make us want to stick ice picks in our lugholes.  Once a brilliant guitarist in his own right, providing the flawless scorching lead guitar to Blackie Lawless’ perfect heavy metal compositions in W.A.S.P. from 1983 to 1989, like “Blind In Texas”, “I Wanna Be Somebody”, “Wild Child”, and his own song, “Mean Man”, Holmes has become a shell of his former self.  Years of substance abuse is taking its toll, and badly.  His guitar playing isn’t even close to what it was 30 years ago.

I thought I was going to have fun tearing Holmes and this album to pieces, and I laughed through it the first time through, but listening to it again just makes me sad, especially with the recent passings of some legendary heavy hitters.  If Chris doesn’t clean up his act, he’s next. You can’t be in your 50s and 60s and still party like you’re 25. Who knows, maybe he’s beyond help.

There’s nothing redeeming about it, and no good thing can be said for this waste of sonic waves. Production methods on this release reminds me of those old Mentors albums- not the good ones on Metal Blade, but the crappy independent Heathen Scum-produced ones from the mid-90s- harsh pans from left to right and back again, he even sounds like El Ducé at times.  Chris’ vocal track sounds like it’s coming out of a karaoke machine with the reverb set to maximum.  I tried to find out who the other “musicians” are on CHP, and after scouring the web, I came up empty.  It’s obvious that Holmes plays all the guitar parts and “sings” (don’t get me started with his vocal stylings), and the bass is barely audible, but I’m dying to find out who the awful drummer is.  It’s either various drummers, a drum machine, or Holmes himself.  My guess is that it’s all three.

In conclusion, this has to be someone’s idea of a joke to take all the good musicians away from us, but let us have this. THIS. What did we do to deserve this?

CHRIS HOLMES “CHP”

1 Loser
2 They All Lie and Cheat
3 Way to Be
4 Down in the Hole
5 Shitting Bricks
6 Get with It
7 Let It Roar
8 Born Work Die
9 502
10 Tfmf
11 Shitting Bricks (Live)
12 Let It Roar (Live)